Teaching kids to recognize and handle all types of bullying, especially in person and online* Alexia Tawes

I propose intermediate intervention in schools that are experiencing bullying. The proposal is constructed from the social learning theory. It is very imperative for all students to feel safe and protected in their learning environments, which is why it is vitally important to have all schools implement prevention programs, policies, and strategies that are used to prevent, reduce, and respond bullying behaviors among students. In recent years bullying has come to be recognized as a significant social problem for millions of adolescents worldwide and it has become one of the most common forms of violence in our society today. It disturbs a student’s opinion of school as a safe environment, disrupting their education and personal life on every aspect. Bullying is a serious and increasingly common problem for children of all ages and it is also one of the most widely practiced forms of aggressive behaviors. It allows the most powerful of individuals to dominate the less powerful. From the different experiences I had encountered and listened to, bullying by the people around you really changes one’s way of living and perception in life. ​Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.

There are many advantages of properly dealing with bullying in school. Firstly, students will feel safer in their learning environment so they will perform better academically wise. Students will be happy and at ease without feeling stressed or having to avoid classmates because they are scared. Students will also feel more confident and this will show in the way they act or how they interact. There are no disadvantages of handling bullying except, if you publicly handle it , the victim maybe feel like a punk or feel like intimidated because it is now known that they are a victim of bullying.
The problem is that while others turn to positive ways to deal with stress, others might turn to violence, bullying and alcohol abuse to temporarily mask the problem. Other reasons may include low self esteem. In order to mask how the hey actually feel about themselves, some people who bully focus attention on someone else. They try to avoid any negative attention directed at them by deflecting, they feel like their parents/guardians don’t have enough time to spend with them.There are often feelings of rejection from the very people who should love them unconditionally. They are also much more likely to come from violent households with lots of arguments and hostility.Without access to education, hate-based conversation directed at others may be the norm. They may not understand what hate speech is and why speaking about people in a derogatory way is not appropriate.Those who bully are more likely to feel like their friendships and family relationships aren’t very secure. In order to keep friendships they might be pressured by their peers to behave a certain way. They are more likely to feel like those who are closest to them make them do things that they don’t feel comfortable doing and aren’t very supportive or loving.

1. WHY DON’T KIDS TELL WHEN THEY ARE BEING BULLIED ?
Kids are often reluctant to tell adults about bullying because they feel embarrassed and
ashamed that it’s happening, or worry that their parents will be disappointed, upset, angry, or reactive. Sometimes kids feel like it’s their own fault, that if they looked or acted differently it wouldn’t be happening. Sometimes they’re scared that if the bully finds out that they told, it will get worse. Others are worried that their parents won’t believe them or do anything about it. Or kids worry that their parents will urge them to fight back when they’re scared to. Most schools have bullying policies and anti-bullying programs or counselors to deal with the situation. Parents play a big role in the way kids handle bullying. Parents can teach them how to talk things out, walk away, seek different friends to play with, or how to ignore cruel remarks. Avoid encouraging fighting or teaching a child self defense. If your child is experiencing cyberbullying, open and read all messages or communication together, but avoid responding to cruel messages, texts, or posts.

2. HOW DOES BULLYING AFFECT ADOLESCENTS ?
Bullying can affect physical and emotional health, both in the short term and later in life. It can lead to physical injury, social problems, emotional problems, and even death. Those who are bullied are at increased risk for mental health problems, headaches, and problems adjusting to school. Bullying also can cause long-term damage to self-esteem. Children and adolescents who are bullies are at increased risk for substance use, academic problems, and violence to others later in life. Those who are both bullies and victims of bullying suffer the most serious effects of bullying and are at greater risk for mental and behavioral problems than those who are only bullied or who are only bullies. Unlike traditional forms of bullying, youth who are bullied electronically—such as by computer or cell phone—are at higher risk for depression than the youth who bully them.

3. THE SCHOOL SOLUTION
The School Solution : Schools can set up programs to educate all students from a young age about the dangers and effects of bullying. One program proposed can be a program that will help teach students proper social skills that are necessary to be a well-rounded citizen. It can help by teaching students the tools they need to be proactive in the fight against bullying and also teach them the importance of being a positive contributing citizen. Students will learn how to respect others and authority, the importance of respecting property, how to be empathetic towards others, how to solve problems without use of violence, and how to accept responsibility when necessary. This positive behavior learned will help children grow into worthy adults by using learned social skills. With the combination of the social skills program and other bullying prevention strategies, bullying incidents will be addressed and reduced overtime. Try to stop the problem before it starts by setting up parameters for students when faced with bullying. Offer a safe environment for students to discuss problems they may have with another student. Set a policy related to bullying , such as required counseling for the bully and victim and a scale of disciplinary actions, such as required community service, depending on the severity of the case. Educate all teachers on how to deal with bullying in the classroom effectively through one-on-one interaction with the student, setting up meetings with parents of bullies and victims, or when and how to remove a violent bully from the classroom. Monitor areas where students have less supervision to prevent bullies from easy opportunities to bully. Encourage all students to report incidents of bullying, whether they are victims or witnesses.

4. THE HOME SOLUTION
The Home Solution: Parents need to have a clear understanding of what constitutes bullying and the schools bullying policies so that they can recognize the signs and take all incidents of peer abuse seriously. A parent of a bully needs to take steps to work with the child by finding out why the child is bullying and determining if the child needs professional counseling. Parents can also encourage empathy by explaining to the child what empathy is and showing the child by example. Parents can encourage their child to stand up for herself and teach her effective ways of managing anger or feelings of helplessness. Constant communication, through phone calls, notes and meetings between parents and school is necessary to prevent bullying.
By schools and parents coming together to combat bullying students will be stopped from becoming problematic youth and adults. Students will learn proper behavior and be taught how to act appropriately towards others, which they will be able to apply in all areas of their lives. The children with behavioral issues, the children being bullied, and the children that are the bullies will change the cycle of violence within their means.

Citations
“How Does Bullying Affect Health and Well-Being?” Eunice Kennedy Shriver National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, ​www.nichd.nih.gov/health/topics/bullying/conditioninfo/health​.

Daniel, Jessica. “What Are the Problems & Solutions of Bullying in School?” The Classroom | Empowering Students in Their College Journey, 27 Sept. 2018, www.theclassroom.com/problems-solutions-bullying-school-8017158.html​.

American Psychological Association, American Psychological Association, www.apa.org/topics/bullying/​.

“StopBullying.gov.” StopBullying.gov, ​www.stopbullying.gov/​.

 Dryden-Edwards, Roxanne. “Bullying Facts, Effects, Statistics, Types & Prevention.” MedicineNet, ​www.medicinenet.com/bullying/article.htm​.

“Bullying.” Child Trends, ​www.childtrends.org/indicators/bullying​.

Moderator. Bullying Statistics, bullyingstatistics.wordpress.com/category/bullying/.

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